On Second Thought…



I have the tendency to do that a lot… Think! Sometimes I overthink and then there are times when I should have put more thought into things for sure. Those are the times where I “give things away”. It ranges from money to time… in many cases, far too much time. I am loyal. I have the character of a team player. I believe in doing things that benefit the whole and if that means I give extra… that is what happens. I give.

There are moments when God put you in position to actually receive. It is in those times where I get the most emotional. You never really expect to receive something, anything when you do something that you love or you do something that you feel you need to do. I think those times catch me the most off guard.

In the past I’ve given away my talent. It is archived online, evident in fliers, photographs and on the walls of the people who took it. I am not mad at it though. I did some pretty great work. I also did some not so great work. But I learned so much. Doing graphic design I learned new techniques, new resources, new processes. But the lessons that I learned while honing my talent we’re the ones that were most priceless. I think the most important thing I learned was discernment. People will take advantage of you if you let them. I have learned to recognize those tendencies to “take” and manipulate.

I always think about Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” This was definitely a lesson for me. I never want to be the victim. I always check my role in situations. “How did I contribute to this?” In the same token I never want to inflict harm, be malicious, or inconsiderate to another human being.

I chose to remove myself from situations that we’re not serving my greater purpose. Or rather were only for the moment. Everything has a stepping stone, sometimes when you’re in it you don’t realize that it is not a permanent situation. That is “ignorance is bliss” at work.


I started another decade. I’m at the beginning and really feel excited and happy about the direction I am going. I constantly hear ‘speak what you want into existence’. I really feel stronger about it now. See… before I was a worrier. Actually there’s still some worry in me, but I really feel that my faith is stronger than my worries. See, all that time was practice. Flying by the seat of my pants and worrying about other people more than myself was a lesson that I had to learn. Now I see telltale signs, the writing on the wall, the warning signs and I high tail it the other direction. I really want positive energy around my life. The belief that things are possible regardless of the challenges that lie ahead. And certainly there will be challenges. Without struggle there is no progress. But what I want most is the belief that it is do-able.

I had such an amazing experience this past week. I started this blog about a week ago but it wasn’t finished and I now understand why. I went on a business trip to Ohio, where I was in the company of eight amazing people. It was one of those trips where everything felt like it was meant to be. In those moments sometimes I get lost, not wanting it to end. But this time I realized how much of a beginning this was. Just a mustard seed is not an exaggeration. Once you plant that seed watch the development, watch the movement, watch the change. There will be a shift. It is evident in so many instances in my life as I dictate this blog. (Yes I’m fancy.)

Let me back track though. In August, I started a new daily regimen. I began to listen and read more on personal development. In doing so I see differently. But get this. I have always loved biographies, autobiographies, self help books and so forth. So I am certainly not new to personal development. The difference is a different level of want.

The greatest capability that we have is the decision making process. We can change the path we’re on with a matter of implementing new thoughts and beliefs. And when you do that the excitement that wells up in you makes change happen. But it is the type of thing you really have to see for yourself.

Thinking back to last week one thing that I said was ‘you can’t wish dopeness on anyone else they have to want it for themselves’. I can want you to be great but unless you can see that you can be great it’s not going to happen. Having a second thought… a change of perspective and new epiphany, revelation will develop a new mindset and attitude.

Being around like minded individuals is beyond important. I was fortunate to be in great company.

The Sondai Souq

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